I have no idea what I weigh right now.

Honestly, I don’t think I really care.

All I know is that I’m not fitting into clothes. Everything is tight, I’m consistently uncomfortable in anything and I simply lose most motivation to do much except sit around on my computer all day.

The crazy thing is, I know how good I feel when I eat well. I know how energized I get when I work out. I know I’ll sleep better, perform better, think better, feel better if I eat well and work out.

 

Yet, I don’t.

I was on the phone with my mom last night and her and I have both struggled with weight basically our entire lives. While I was overly involved in sports as a kid, I was never the fastest or strongest. I wasn’t bad, just not the best. But I loved sports so much. Hated running, so I went for the water sports, but still.

Anyway, she said to me that when she has been most successful with weight loss it was because she had set very small goals for herself. For that week, and that week alone, she was going to do A and B. Then, the next week, she could keep those goals and add on, or change the goals completely. More often than not, she would keep the goals and maybe add one or simply go another week pursuing the same. These goals ranged from drinking 2 liters of water a day, exercising for 30 min per day, having sugar only once and not twice, etc.

I’m jealous of people who can do a full 180 and completely devote themselves to an eating and exercise plan right out the gate. I wish I could but I honestly get burnt out way too fast and I end up resenting all things, including myself and loved ones around me because I’m ashamed I couldn’t keep up.

I’ve always been someone who isn’t great about completely following through. I love to talk about things I’m going to do, and I’ll fall in love with an idea for a few weeks and then it fizzles out. Already, in the past six months, I’ve bought everything for face painting, hot yoga, a new meal plan, makeup, and a cat. The cat is doing great and I’m very on top of that 😉 Face painting is in a box in a closet while my yoga mat sits rolled up at the end of my bed.

Ok, so now it’s out in my living room so I can do a Beachbody PiYo workout with it…

Speaking of which, that’s what I want to start today. It’s Wednesday, so it’s not like MONDAY but I plan to follow the plan perhaps with Wednesdays being my Mondays. I love Pilates and Yoga, and Chalene Johnson is pretty badass so figured I would give it a go. I’m combining it, possible with T25 and the eating plan from Trim Healthy Mama. It’s a lot to take on, combined with drinking at least 100oz of water a day (128oz is the goal).

But maybe I can stick this one out. Maybe.